Why I Do What I Do.

I made the decision to expand my artistic talents when choosing a high school to attend. I enjoyed the art classes I took in middle school and I was told that I had a knack for it, and as an added bonus I enjoyed making it. Since elementary school I have not stopped drawing, whether it was all over the margins of a homework assignment or on the desks when no one was watching. South Miami Senior High sported a great magnet program in arts and in music and I applied for both. I got accepted into both and chose art over music. I still love music, but I knew I was not as passionate about playing it as I was about simply listening to it. When I started the program, I loved to learn all the techniques while applying them. Back then I made work I really appreciated, expanding upon my technical skills. I had the opportunity to get into a dual enrollment program to get the first two years of college out of the way while in high school, but it would have interfered with my art classes, so I declined. After doing well in both AP examinations, I was confident. I wanted to keep making art because I enjoyed it and whenever I learned a new process, it would become an adventure to me all over again.

I believe the reason why I chose this path was to keep doing what I love. I love to draw and make new things. I thought I would be happiest if I could improve upon my talents to use them in any way I wish. My mother was good at drawing herself, but she did not pursue the arts because she believed it would be a waste of time and money. I wanted to prove to her that you could still do what you love, even if it is as risky as being an artist, and be happy. Since attending Ringling College, my spirits have been up and down; there are times I feel that I have made the wrong decision and there are times where I would prefer no other alternative. Every year I seem to go through a slump, but I always come to the same conclusion. I approve of the decision I have made. I have learned more than I thought I would have from the start. I am the kind of person who finishes what they have started, and so I have gotten this far and plan to go even further.

Coming up with a thesis idea was troublesome at first. I had to reach a hypothesis of some sort by the end of a chaotic summer and all I could think about were ephemeral subjects--ones I would lose interest in after a month under their limitations. Finally, I started to think about the things that I have always found interesting. Aside from a lot of science fiction and fantasy, I finally settled on something that may be a little of both, but will likely effect us all someday in the future as a very real occurrence. I have always harbored a fascination for the idea of 'apocalypse'. It is a way to end an unsatisfactory, dull, or frustrating life without all that fret about suicide or accidents. The idea seemed to come to me when I was feeling a little depressed and frightened, which is nothing I am not used to by now. I always hoped that something drastic would happen to disrupt my life; something I would not have been able to control. It would give me an excuse to stop, or do something different, or approach life in a different way just because the old way is now over and done with. Then I thought of my obsessions with movies about the end of the world, whether in the form of nuclear bombings or zombie raids. I knew that if anything like that occurred, it would be a very reasonable excuse to just abandon everything.

Now at first, when I came up with this thesis idea, it was about 'peoples' fascination and not just my own. I thought it would be a more powerful idea however if I just approach it from my point of view, because who am I to speak up for 'people'? So I decided to settle on my fascination. It is a topic that I can easily get into and studiously work on, and I would need to have that kind of focus if I want to spend a year on it.